The PAST will be the Past

"Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can only read the title."

~ Virginia Woolf ~

Well I am as you can guess by the Quote you just read I am probably going to write something about my past. That would be a correct guess my friend although I don't plan to write what it is that I have been dwelling on the past few days just that it brings up a lot of different emotions in me and the past few days have been hard on me to go through it all. So I have been sleeping A LOT to try and forget those emotions or atleast get over them again and move on again. It is a very hard thing to do but in my case it has to be done. One reason being is when one memory comes back to me usually a flood of them come back and I don't always get to choose which ones come back so sometimes painful ones come back. Some remind me of the stupid choices I had made in my past (Some at which I regret deeply and wished with all my heart were different) and I just don't like thinking about those memories. Then there are some memories that bring a lot of joy to me but because I no longer talk to some the people in those memories hurts to think of just how much I miss those few people and wished I still had them in my life, still could call and talk to them, hang out with them, to just be a part of their lives. So I just wanted to say even if the people I am talking about NEVER ever read this.. I am deeply sorry to all the people in my life I have wronged in my past. Some of the things I did I wished I didn't or wished I did differently and I truely am sorry for the hurt, pain and anger I have caused in my past. I am not perfect nor will I ever be but I do want it known that the things I have done in the past that I see now as wrong (some things I knew were wrong then but I was being selfish) I regret them and so in order to move on with my future or atleast try to start moving I had to let you know I know I was wrong and I am sorry. That is all I feel like writing because now my mind is in a bad place again.

“One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.”